Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
