At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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