That's when you crack a 10am beer
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Randomize
