I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize
