Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I have surprise drugs for everyone
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
