how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
