what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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