I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
