HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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