You surviving the open bar?
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I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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