it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Randomize
