You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
