He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
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