I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
