She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
