not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
