Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
