the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
