I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Randomize
