he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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