New invention idea: vibrating tampons
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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