sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
only you would photoshop your dick
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
