He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
