i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
