I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
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