i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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