Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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