I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
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