is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
