WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
