i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
