I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
