how can u be prego again
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
