found the other keg... it's in the tree
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
