He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
