Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Quick, to the slutcave!
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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