in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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