I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
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