Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
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