...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
