i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
