What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
