i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Randomize
