i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
