I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Randomize
