So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
