Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
PANTIES FOUND
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