I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Randomize
