you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Randomize
