Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Randomize
