Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
