I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
